Im close to becoming a atheist but one thing keeps me thinking?

I'm not an atheist, never have and never would be, but I'd like to comment on your thought about if a universe could exist without a designer. If you want to think of it scientifically, then according to the laws of physics, there isn't anything that can be put into motion without some force causing it to go into motion. If the big bang is where it all started, then what caused the bang? How did those particles get there? Being an atheist take much more faith, you have to believe that everything that is was made from nothing by nothing, it all just is without explanation. Believing in a Creator is much more sensible, we also believe everything was made out of nothing, but by the sheer fact that it all exists, it stands to reason than an intelligent being/spirit/essence was that force that made the first move. How He came to be? We don't know, we're not as smart as he is, that's why we're not God. And that is why he introduced himself as YHWH, which simply translates to "I am that which I am".