Your whatever? *-related. btw. highschool?

known this guy since fresh yr i have this friend supposed close friend. beginnin soph yr gave him a hj. my friend who doesnt&never has liked him always gave him bjs. he cheated on his gf w/ her&i was there. i gave him a slight bj but i was hesitate&it was my 1st time&i was uncomfortable doing it. especially after my friend&him having a gf. they told me to shut my mouth but i didnt care i let the gf know secondhandedly. so she's been hating me. beginnin jun yr. i was totally liking him&i told my friend&he was starting to actually like me too. 1 day it was just supposed to be me&him hanging out but my friend tagged along&gave him a bj. a mth ltr we officially date. it's been 5mths. so i get paranoid that he only wants me for or that he'll cheat on me but he claims he loves me, i dont say it back. i really cannot forgive my friend. am i right or wrong on this&your opinions about this? bcause of this it's difficult for me to imagine more of this relationship. dont hold back on ur words